People change. That's the truth. No matter how badly we want it to be just a dream, it's the truth.
When we arrived in Taiwan, I wanted to visit a lot of people. My kindergarten teacher Miss Hao for example. I love her and we have been always close. I used to call her as soon as I got back to Taiwan and we would go out for movies and dinners. It may seem a little weird that I still see my kindergarten teacher and I go to movies with a woman in her mid-forties, but it's not weird at all for me. She was a very special friend for me. She even took care of me when I was a baby because my parents were very busy back then. I slept over at her house a lot when I was young and she accepted me in all my weird ways. I stood on a chair and sang songs about mermaids and I liked to dance around with a magic wand when I was a kid and she was fine with it. She kept all my drawings when I gave them to her and I call her "mommy" sometimes. But this time when I got back back, I contacted her and I knew that she was still single and stayed home to babysit her sister's kids. She's like an all time nanny and she's busy. I get it. But she never asked about me or said when she would be free. Some people might think that she was just busy and that it's nothing. But I'm not so sure. She used to call me all the time and ask when I'm free. Just because it has been 3 years doesn't mean our relationship is nothing now right!?
Another person I didn't see at all is one of my cousins. She was my favorite cousin and we played together all the time when I was a kid and our families traveled together many times too. She's married now and she's pregnant. I messaged her but she never replied and it was like she vanished. Her house is quite close to ours but no visits, no calls, not even a "Welcome back to Taiwan". I still love her and I really miss her. I wonder if she even misses me.
I had this talk with my mom and she told me that people change over time and relationships between people change too. She asked me that if they have all moved on, why haven't I? The thing is I don't want to look forward and just move on. My memories with these people are hazy because I was so young and I want to hold on to those memories and remake those days. But I guess it's impossible now and looking forward is my only choice.
Editor: M.B.C.
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