It has been busy, and I've been having a lot of opportunities to pursue in the work of activism. It has been an absolute pleasure and honour. Yet, it feels, that the stronger I get, the lonelier I feel. The fact is, when it comes to being an activist and trailblazer, independence is needed. You'll have to learn to stand even when no one stands with you. And sure, maybe you'll be admired, loved, thanked, and get more and more networking contacts as you go, but it's lonely. It's lonely because when it's all over, when the work is done, you'll return to your room, and there lies the emptiness in front of you. The void that can never be filled no matter how much change you bring to the world.
You'll be reminded of the people you've let go, the things you pushed away to be the powerful person that you are today. Those you had to leave to become stronger, more independent. Those that make you feel too much, making you too weak to stand. The people that you loved, who made you so happy, who made you laugh so carelessly without thinking. The friends that you joked around with, the friends that you did stupid little things with. There's a void inside me, that can never be filled. Maybe it's crazy, but love makes us weak I think. It makes us too dependent, too afraid. Yet it seems that now, I can grow and keep growing, I can be strong, and powerful, and give everything that I am to create change.
Because I have nothing to lose... I'm not afraid anymore.
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