University of Toronto

          So most people will know that I have been accepted to London College of Fashion, in London, England. It is one of the top 10 best Fashion Institutes in the world, and it was an honour to be given an offer right after my interview back in November. Yet only some knows about my offer from University of Toronto for Gender & Women's Studies. Most people only paid attention to my announcement for London College of Fashion because it's an opportunity to study aboard, it's exciting, and people think that fashion is my ultimate dream. And it was my ultimate dream, but things change... I have officially accepted my offer to study at University of Toronto.

          I find that it's interesting because most people react much more dramatically than me, honestly I'm still processing. I definitely am disappointed, and it would've been great to study Fashion in the UK, but it's just not financially possible. My parents have been trying their best and it's just not fair for me to put any more financial stress on their shoulders. People then asked, why didn't I apply for Fashion program in Canada ? Ryerson University in Toronto is known for the best Fashion education in Canada, ranking not top 10 in world, but definitely in top 20s. The thing is, I started my application, and there wasn't an interview, there was an essay. The essay asked me to write about an issue in the Fashion industry that I am passionate about. See, the problem isn't that I can't write an essay, or that I don't have enough knowledge or content to write about, it's the fact that I realized the lack of passion I have for Fashion. I stared at the blank Google doc for about 3 days and told my mom that I just can't. If I were in an interview, I could talk about Fashion all I want. Yet writing is much more personal and intimate for me, I can't lie to myself. I had a realization, that I wasn't even that excited about the Fashion program in England, I was more excited about the travelling, the studying abroad fantasy. That is my dream, to be independent in a vibrant, big stylish city, and I'll get there. I'll definitely save up to travel across Europe after my studies. Fashion is something I'm really good at, something that I've been practicing for years since I was like five years old. It's comfortable, it comes easy to me, yet it's not my dream anymore. That's the truth, and I've been afraid to admit it because I feel like my years were wasted, that I'm betraying my talent and skills. I'm afraid to step out of my comfort zone. I'm not the best student, I'm not the best essay-writer, I'm not a fast reader, and it's difficult also because English is my second language. So I thought that going to University for academics was going to be too stressful and not a path I should go on. Yet it's not fair, for me to take a spot in one of the best Fashion Colleges in the world, and to make my parents spend this money when I don't have the passion to strive in this field. So, here we are. University of Toronto it is.

          And guess what !? I'm so passionate about Women & Gender studies, I'm already volunteering as an activist/advocate for Women and LGBTQ+ rights and visibility. This is something that I've been writing all my essays and projects on in school. Maybe I'm not the best writer, but when it's a topic in this field, I can type thousands of words. I have so much to say, so much to share and contribute when it comes to this study. I want to learn, and it excites me to look into the Feminist philosophy, or academic studies of Gender & Sexuality. It isn't going to be easy, and I'm definitely not in whole other country or anything, but it's good for now. It's something I can live with, happily. Also, I want to be a writer ! Well, I want to make my activism and public education into a career, but I also want to be a writer, of poems or publishing a personal memoir or something. I know it's yet another big dream, but at least I've got something.

          It'll be an exciting new chapter in my life when Fall comes, and I'll be ready. I've got so much to learn, and so much to do. Yay Education !