Life is like a game of monopoly: everyone's just rolling their dice and hoping for the best to get to their destination. I'm one of the few players who has already planned where my destination is going to be. In this game, there are three main types of players. There are ones who are moving towards their destination every day and who work hard to get to their dream place. There's also the ones who have already reached their destination and are getting ready to join a whole new stage of the game. And then there's me, the people who are just moving around that may or may not have a specific goal and are trying to figure out where their destinations are going to be. My destination has been set since I was about five, now I'm not so sure where I'm moving towards... We are still moving, as long as the earth is spinning and we are living our days, we are still in the game. But it's hard to say whether we are moving towards our destination or just moving.
I have had my dream figured out for a long time and I know where my destination is, but I'm still working on how I am going to get there. These past few months I haven't been drawing and designing that much and I have barely touch my sewing machine. I know that if I want to become who I want to be, I have to work hard and not be lazy. But these days I just feel so lost, I don't know where I'm going anymore. It's almost like you're losing yourself.
It's not entirely about laziness though. I think I'm scared, scared of going down the wrong path. The path and destination I have chosen are risky. I can fail and lose everything I've worked for in only a minute. I'm afraid to admit it but I might be having second thoughts on this dream. Some people might say that if I'm truly meant for this path, I will find the track eventually. But what if I don't? I don't think I have any other talents and I don't want to risk my entire future. I may just be over thinking this, but making back-up plans shows that I don't have enough confidence about this. I'm not ready to go on this journey,
Even if I'm not right for this path and there's a big chance of failing, I don't think I have any choices other than sticking with this path until another path opens. I will overcome my laziness and try to earn back the time I have wasted, but the fear will always be inside me. Because the truth is, being lost is part of success and while I'm trying to get myself back on track, I might discover something new, something different.
Editor : M.B.C.
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