I have not been on here writing for almost two weeks now... I think I'm just at that stage of life where everything is happening all at once. Trust me, it has not been easy for someone as perfectionist as me to go through these past few weeks. I sometimes feel like I can hardly breathe, and that I'll never have a little moment of nothing on my mind.
I auditioned for the school spring play awhile ago, and we've been rehearsing like crazy because our showtime is this Wednesday and Thursday. It's a small cast, and I'm a minor character with just a few lines, but I'm very excited because it is my "first" show. I was part of the musical "Annie" my elementary school put on a couple years ago, but I don't count those group singing experiences as "legit performance", because I knew nothing about singing and acting back then compared to now. Though I have to admit, I am still very upset that I did not have a chance to audition for the drama enriched class. (Please just check my piece "An Audition" for the more details on that). The director of this show did give me some lines after I was cast as an extra, and I'm truly grateful, but my character is a fabulous diva and that does not prove anything to that drama teacher who said that the enriched major drama class would be too much for me.
This teacher said to me many times that she wanted to see more diversity in me and to not just do a fabulous diva, and God knows I completely understand. I did all my performances as not fabulous as I could for the rest of that open level class. I tried my best to please her and tried to make her see that I can be something else, but it's still a no. I believe that she is a great drama teacher and a lovely person, but people have told me about some people that are in the enriched level drama class that slack off and that I deserve to be in that class. I don't dare to say that I deserve to be in there, but I do think I at least deserve a chance with an audition.
Now, I'm just stressing over if I should still take drama next year and the year after that. Meanwhile in my Vocal Music class, I think I'm doing good. I've been getting fairly decent marks for all my solo performances, but I really need to step up my game for music theory. And the thing is, I actually prefer not to get level fours for all my solos at the beginning of the course, because if I get a level four right now and somehow I get a level three later on I will literally cry so hard, my face will be moisturized 24/7, because that means I'm going downhill. I'm trying really hard to work on my next solo because I want to get a four plus. I want to be better, and I want to show myself that I deserve to be in this class. I don't always have the talent, but I'm willing to try hard.
Editor: A.B.
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