Daddy Issues II.

          In Part I, I explored my personal "Daddy Issues" recalling my complicated relationship with my father. Yet we have not talked about how our "Daddy Issues" may affect our relationships with men. The whole idea of this Father Complex and the complicated connections we have with our father archetypes is suppose to result in an unconscious mindset and behavioural impact when we interact with the other men around us.

          Yes, I do have Daddy Issues as we've discussed from Part I, and I'm weirdly okay with sexualizing the father archetype. While it's considered "weird" and "abnormal", we see it in the media, and it's actually fairly common to sexualize the parental archetypes. (ex. Sugar Daddies/Mommies and Sugar Babies...etc.) I can go on and on about this with Freud's psychological theories, but I won't. You can all do some researching if you're interested, or take a psychology course. Is my fascination with older men and sexualization of the father archetypes a result of my father's absence ? Why would I rather date and go for older men ?

          I can't speak on behalf of the LGBTQ+ community, yet I do personally know of many queer and trans teens who do actively look for older partners (especially older men), meaning that I'm not a rare exceptions ? Yet why ?! My theory is that we as queer and trans youths have a very difficult time finding a male interest because of toxic masculinity and society's standards of what manhood should be like. Us teenagers are still developing an identity, we all want to fit in, making it even harder for youth males to step out of the traditionary binary system. So us queer and trans teens think that we just need more mature men, men who can and will understand, who can take care of us...etc. After all, we're tired, we're exhausted from trying to survive in this society while still being proud and visible of our identities. Now, there is a danger to this theory, as we often are vulnerable targets of assault when we seek for older interests both sexually and romantically, creating even more Daddy Issues...

          Is there an end to this ? Is there a way we can drop these baggages from our childhood ? Well, psychologically speaking, childhood traumas are there to stay. But we can move on and be better even if impacted negatively from these events. Similarly to counselling and therapy, we need to identify and work through the cause and effect of our traumas, so we can be more consciously aware of our behaviours and thoughts.