We're all sheltered, protected, and blinded by the dark and light. Some of us could not even bare to have the thought of being in the dark, yet some of us feel more free in the darkness, where nothing is seen. Like honesty and truth, it sometimes show the most ugly flaws of us human beings, leaving us naked and vulnerable for the world to see. But the lies and deceptions leave us with even more chance to discover those flaws and fill ourselves with secrets and shame.
Insecurities, one simple word, yet I'm sure 99% of the people on Earth has them. It's human nature to want to hide in the dark and not let others see your flaws and insecurities. It's only protecting ourselves from being hurt, but it's also sheltering ourselves from the truth and our world. Sometimes I wonder how I made myself stepped into the light, because I was in the darkness for a while before. It seems to be the support and love from others that helped me realize that I can love myself. Even now, I have my days where I try to find that dark place again and hide, but when you've been in the light for so long, you can lose your sense of direction as you would too in the dark. There's no place for you to hide and every ugly truth is there to haunt you. As there is no escape from reality.
It takes courage and a thick skin to be in the light, and I argue that I would rather have a painful, ugly truth then a lie out of love and protection. That's not entirely true, I'm a human, I get scared and I get anxious. But I remind myself that I deserve to be in the light sometimes, and that I deserve no lies. I want to put myself out there for the world to see, because my time in the darkness did me no good. And if I'm going to be the light, I'll make all use of it. That's why I have alter egos, to put on an act when I'm surrounded by strangers. "I am a Queen, I am Fabulous." I somehow have made it a rule that if I can convince them that I'm confident and happy, I would really be. And it does help, to an extent. We humans are fluid, we should be able to have both the light and the dark there for us to use. It's not always healthy for me either to expect everything to be in the light. Because I may not be able handle as much as I thought I could. Truths so hurt, and the worst part is, reality can sometimes be a deception itself.
On the other hand, darkness can be free and limitless, full with imaginations and hope. Yet it also can lead you to no where but confusion and danger. I hated my times in the dark and I believe that the light will set us all free. Because I think that the truth will only hurt when it's being compared by our social standards. Others' truths may just differ or even oppose to your own subjective. There is no right and wrong answers to the Truth and False of individuality. So maybe the Light and Dark themselves don't even exist. Maybe they were standards of life set upon ourselves. Maybe they were only meant to be mixed to create a human's complexity, and not to be contrasted.
Because we're all just human beings, like little shades of grey. Seven billion shades of grey trying to fit into the Black and White standards of this world.
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