If Starbucks be the Drink of Love... Part 2 - All or Nothing

          I think there's a thin line between just plain attraction and actually have feelings for someone, and I don't think my little brain knows where that line is. For the past few weeks, I found myself not thinking about my crush at school at all, and when I do think of him, I don't feel much. Have I moved on because of this new Starbucks boy ? Just like that ? Many of my friends thinks that he may be gay since he's so nice to me, and the ones who have seen him agree with how attractive he is. I guess my taste in boys isn't bad after all.

          But even if he is gay, why would he want anything to do with me ? He could be just a really nice and sweet person who really enjoys his work at Starbucks. Plus, what makes me think that he would ever find me attractive. I feel like there's probably 80% chance that this is all in my head and he's just a normal hot straight guy being nice to his customers. Should I hold on to this 20% of hope and just doing something ? I really have no idea and no matter what I think, I know there will never be results if I don't actually do it. And you know what, I will just be myself and try to look extra cute whenever I go to Starbucks. By the way, this Starbucks is closing and he told me which Starbucks he's going be at next and told me to visit him. The Starbucks is closing at the end of July and if I want to do anything, I better do it fast. Because I know I won't be able to see him often anymore since his new place isn't near my house.

          To be honest, I feel stupid. I just feel really really stupid because I think it's sad that I'm desperate. It's sad that I have feelings so easily and it's almost like I need love to complete myself. This right here isn't love, and it probably will never be. But somehow I still decided to hold on to that small possibility and lie to myself that something will happen. I see some of my friends flirting and stuff and I just don't think there will be anyone for me anymore. So that's the reason I'm trying so hard for this since he may be actually gay. All of my crushes have been straight and I just can't go down that road again... So if he turns out to be as straight as an arrow, I will rest my case completely and just let go. But thanks to him, I think I'm finally getting over my crush.