Summer Droughts

          Now summer school has ended and Starbucks is gone, it feels the same yet different.

          Yesterday, me and my friend stopped by Starbucks to say our last goodbyes to the baristas as they were packing up the store. After that, I walked home and found myself alone as my mom and brother went out of town. I was suppose to meet up with some friends last night but they cancelled due to some emergency. I thought I was fine until I found myself feeling empty inside all of a sudden. Even though I was alone, I've spent my whole day with my best friend the day before and I just spent three hours hanging out with a friend and the baristas. I began to feel concerned about my need for company.

          Maybe I still haven't had my closure for Starbucks yet but I decided to take a walk when staying in my room felt like I was being locked in a tower. I took a walk into the plaza and bought myself a can of ice tea and walked by Starbucks. Everyone was gone and the windows are covered with black papers. The Starbucks sign was taken down and now it's just nothing. It's just not Starbucks anymore. I walked home in a cloudy windy weather which brought my mood down even more. I couldn't help but wonder, why can't I be happy alone ? Is it true that I'm in this desperate need of love and care that I can not even be alone for more than two hours without going depressed?

          It's pathetic to me that I can not stand being alone. I've always wanted to be like my mother, who's independent and strong, but I also know how empty and lonely she can feel on some days. Everyone has those sad, lonely days don't we ? Then why is it so pathetic to me ? I think that even though I need to work on being more independent and enjoy my time with myself, I have to admit that we humans are weak and it's okay. We shouldn't blame ourselves for being lonely. We should try to fix that.

          I think it's okay for us to curl up in our beds to cry, call a friend, scream on a roof top and just whatever we need to do for ourselves to feel better. It isn't unacceptable to feel down, lonely and sad at times because we are humans. We all need support through our summer droughts don't we ?