Walking In The Dark

          After hanging out with some of my friends in Downtown, I bused home around ten o'clock at night. By the time I got off the bus, it was about eleven o'clock and I usually would stay on paths with street lights at a time that late, but I went on a shorter path which was so dark I couldn't even see my shoes for some reason. As I challenged my fear of the dark and looking up at the stars for comfort, I thought of love.

          Because walking through the darkness seems to have many similarities with me being in love. It's blinding almost, I have little sense of directions so I did came very close to falling and being in love isn't logical at all as it's like taking away my sense of sight. One of the reasons why I'm so afraid of the dark is because of me being too imaginative and creative. I sometimes imagine shadows and all of the negative possibilities that could happen to me while being in the dark. And for the past few weeks, I seem to be able to find traces of him everywhere and still couldn't get my mind off him. It's almost like having his shadows follow me around. I often look to my friends for support and comfort as I did to the stars upon me during that walk, but I understood that comforts at moments like these are supportive but can never help you finish your walk. I had to finish that walk alone with the strength of myself and the only way to get over him is realizing that I don't need him. I have to be able to be happy without him. I need to love myself first.

          Sometimes being in the dark for too long can become comfortable. Your eye sights adjust and you feel more comfortable with your movements and directions in the dark. But what you don't know is that the longer you stay in the dark, the more lost you will become. You're not lost as in direction wise, but you've lost your destination. Being in a self-destructive and hopeless love will not only make me lose my sense of logic, but also who I am and who I want to be. I believe that I'm many things in life, but I certainly deserve more than this as everyone deserves to love someone who can love them back. And I want to be stronger than this. I want to be happy.

          And by the time I walk out of this darkness, I know I'll be stronger and happier.