March Break this year has been nice. No job, no vacation, just staying at home and hanging out with friends. Though I am planning to go to a few universities' open houses because I have to actually start think about stuff after high school now. My grade 12 year is just around the corner and I have to be realistic, yet stay true to my dreams.
It's crazy to actually look at the programs offered in universities, I think I'm interested in studying in Philosophy, Social Psychology, and Women's Studies. Where's Fashion you ask ? Well, I ask myself the same question. I'll always love Fashion Design, but I think Toronto and New York have to wait. I need to go to university, it just feels right. I hate to feel like I'm giving up on Fashion, but if I'm really destined to be on the path of Fashion, I'll find my way there. Maybe, I'm just not ready to leave to go to the big city yet, and maybe I'm not ready to leave high school at all. It's scary to think that if I don't take a gap year, I'll be going to university at seventeen. And now, I'm sixteen and still I feel like a baby. I think I'm just not ready...
My friends are a blessing though. And sometimes I just have moments where I get goosebumps thinking of how amazing it is to have such a loving and supportive group of people around me. It's truly beautiful. It's difficult for me to think about how we'll all go on our separate journeys after high school. I hate myself for having such a bad memory but it's just moments like lying in a trampoline with four girls sharing a blanket at sunset chatting and staring into the sky, singing songs around a campfire, teasing and watching my friends as cute couples make out, or just simply go on the local city bus all together and going places in this small little town laughing and acting silly. It's moments like that, that I wish to treasure forever. And when high school's over, I hope to feel nothing but satisfaction like the way I felt in those moments. It's cheesy but this literally fills my life. I can not imagine my life without these people and these moments. It's my friends, who fill the holes in my heart and give me the courage to dream. I've not been to parties, and have not done much crazy stuff like other teenagers. I've not been drunk or done any kind of drugs, and I often joke about how it's beacause I'm friends with nerds. But the truth is, I simply don't need it. That's how crazy and amazing my friend group is.
One more year, and it'll be time to say goodbye. Yet I'm grateful and honestly so lucky, to still have one more year to spend time with these amazing friends of mine, who love and accepts me for who I am, and who taught me the ways to not only love the world, but to love myself.
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