A Word About... Pornography.

          Pornography in it's most basic, simple form, a Fantasy.

          Personally, I don't disagree with Porn, other Sexual Contents, or the people who use them. What I disagree with is how Pornography is sometimes used and how it's affecting people, especially men in certain cases. Pornography sets an expectation on not only sex, but your sexual partner as well. It holds an unrealistic beauty standards for both men and women, and it sets in a false fantasy for human sexuality.

          I have taken a long time now to actually finish this piece. I wanted to think, research, and actually ask around other people for their views on this subject. I think that Pornography is one of those things that 100% of us acknowledge, 80% of us use, yet only about 20% may dare to speak about it. Knowing that Porn can be nothing but a Fantasy, I, like a lot of other teenagers, have actually learned everything relating to sex through porn. Well, this just perfectly proves that we need to do a better job at educating students about sex and sexuality in schools.

          Again, I have nothing against Porn/People that use Porn, but I want you all to keep one thing in mind - Respect. How are we able to still use Porn yet not objectify men/women only as sexual objects ? How are we able to pursue into fetishes like BDSM and Rough Sex yet not get into the mindset of Violence equals to Rough Sex, or contribute to the Rape Culture within our society ? The porn industry, at it's nature, contributes to Rape Culture. Most heterosexual porn videos show the men in a dominant, and hyper-masculine role. What I've found interesting, is that most women/teenage girls I've talked to, do not rely on Porn to masturbate. Yet in contrast, most men in our society only use and rely on pornography to masturbate. I think that we need to encourage men and boys to maybe cut down their use on porn, and use their imagination. I feel like with our imagination, it can be less vulgar and more-romanticized, plus we can exercise to be more creative as well.

          I also couldn't help but to question a very important question:

          "When does it become an Addiction ?"

"Addiction is a condition that results when a person ingests a substance (e.g., alcohol,cocaine, nicotine) or engages in an activity (e.g., gambling, sex, shopping) that can be pleasurable but the continued use/act of which becomes compulsive and interferes with ordinary life responsibilities, such as work, relationships, or health. Users may not be aware that their behavior is out of control and causing problems for themselves and others."

          According to a Psychological definition, Pornography becomes an addiction when it becomes compulsive and when it affects your life negatively. Also, you should experience issues with withdraw if unable to use Pornography. So if your use of Porn has influenced your to disrespect people, objectify people, or to think that sexual violence are okay, you may be addicted. Also if you unable to access porn causes you distress, anxiety, anger, impatience...etc., it may be a problem as well.

          To be honest, I think there's a big stigma around addiction that I feel is fairly unhelpful. (There's literally so many stigmas and stereotypes towards everything, why do we do this to ourselves !?) I personally will never ever and will always remind myself not to judge people with addictions. And no, they're not failing, they didn't fall into a dark path. They're just trying to figure out who they are and what they want. It's extremely easy to have an addiction, our brains do things sometimes to show us that we're missing something in our lives, or that we're just trying to avoid solving a situation. We're all scared, and helpless at times. Who wouldn't want that natural ecstasy, who wouldn't want that easy chemical reaction to relax our bodies and distract our minds ?

          We're all Human, and Sex is well, sex. Porn is not always Sex though, it's not Real. Maybe we sometimes turn to Porn because of our own fear and insecurities around Real Sex, maybe we're scared of that real Intimacy, that Connection. So maybe, we just created this fantasy so be lustful and surreal because we're afraid of the truth. The truth is that Sex is not hot, and that we go into it knowing nothing, all scared and anxious.

          Yet when the time comes, when it's time for the real deal - sex. We hope that we have someone who will embrace our bodies, who we are, and let us know that it is okay for us to be scared, anxious, or not as knowledgeable. And that's when sex becomes something more, something more special, something more than just sex.