The Misunderstood is a common character/plot theme used in the media, yet is it applicable to real human relationships ? Isn't everyone misunderstood because there'll always be two sides to the story ? No one is ever fully understood, and we sometimes may not even understand ourselves. A true functional and healthy relationship is where we are able to communicate our differences and misunderstandings, and us being open-minded enough to learn the other side of the story. Though here I am, forcing myself to embrace the fact that I've become... The Misunderstood.
Not every story has an ending, not every situation has a closure, and certainly not every relationship is healthy and worthy enough to explain myself. Me being misunderstood isn't about me, it's about the other person not ready enough to learn my story. Me being misunderstood isn't me not wanting to explain myself, it's the other person not willing to listen. Me being misunderstood isn't fair, but I have to learn to move on...
You think that I want you to choose between me and them, yet I've only ever told you to choose them. You think that it's me testing you, but it's not. It really isn't, I know that you want more, and that you need more, than just me, and I'm afraid of myself not being able to give you everything that you deserve. So I want you to choose them, to belong, to fit in. You say you want both me and them, yet you come to me angry at how they ignore you because you're with me, so I say go, leave me, go with them. All I ever want is you to be happy, and it hurts that you have constructed such narrative, demonizing me into someone that would want to force you to leave them for me, even thinking that I would create rumors to purposefully make you think that they're excluding you. I want to explain myself, I want to defend myself, but when you told me that you've been telling them how I want you to make you leave them, you've crossed the line. I feel betrayed, I no longer can waste my tongue, I can no longer have the patience to explain myself. I decided to be silent, and we went our separate ways. Yet now, you've reached out, saying you want "things to be how they were", but now I've learned that the reason why you can't give me a ride home is because your mom still thinks that you hate me ? I really, really don't deserve this. And when others ask how come we're talking again, you refuse to explain, you want my love and care without the world knowing that you stand with me. How is this fair to me ? Why am I not worth fighting for ?!
I'm tired, tired of constantly trying to prove my love and loyalty. I am tired of trying so hard for people to love me back, I am tired of trying so hard to maintain my friendships and keep everyone happy. Because no one is trying to hear me out, and I'm just done. It hurts being misunderstood, and I wonder if anyone will ever believe in me anymore, but it's better than this. I don't deserve to be treated this way. I can't let myself do this anymore...
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