Our sex shouldn't separate us. Our sex shouldn't define us. Our sex doesn't change who we are inside, but influences our outer shells and some puberty processes. I think that our society still has a long way to go with letting kids our age and the next generations in knowing that what body we're born into isn't everything. It's something we stereotyped for people to put us into groups. This can be changed because what's inside is stronger than our sexes and how we look.
I just hate it when I'm defined by my sex. Because I'm gay, I'm more comfortable hanging out with girls and most of my friends are indeed females, but there will always a gap between me and them. I can feel it when they tell each other something but say "Oh you don't need to know, you're a boy." or maybe when I can't go to sleepovers because their parents won't let me just because of my gender. Like if one of the girls is bisexual, would the parents stop that girl from going ? Probably not. Because you can't always know their sexual orientation, but what you do know is their sex is.
Sometimes I just think that it will be so much easier if I'm a straight cis male or just a cis female. I'm sorry if I'm complaining a little bit because I know that this is my life. I will feel shitty because of this situation a lot in my life and I have to suck it up. But what pisses me off is that people still don't get it. A lot of people are up for LGBTQ rights and equality but most of us don't notice that when we talk about equality, it isn't just for those who need the legal rights. Sometimes it's those little things like sex that we forget to work on.
I am so concerned when I had this conversation when my other 2 friends about the intimate act, sex. It's nothing perverted. Me and my friends talk about sex with a mature attitude and sometimes in a science-y way. We talk about how it's different in many religions, cultures and stuff. Anyway, they think that people should only have sex after marriage and I totally understand. I respect their opinion and everything but you know, I think sex and marriage can be two different things. I feel like it's something so beautiful and intimate with another human being that if you both know what's right and you both are ready then it's okay. Still I'm not saying underage sex (underage for me is like under 12) is encouraged though. Then they said, "Well you're a guy, you won't understand. Sex is more emotionally connected for girls." Then I was like okay, I get why a lot of people think that guys don't care about sex because there are a lot of jerks. This isn't true for all guys. I know way too many girls who do sexual things with guys and are like, "whatever". So I personally think that it's wrong to stereotype men this way. I am a guy and I think that sex is something very intimate and emotional for me. Just because I think it is okay to have sex before marriage doesn't mean I don't have that emotional connection.
Then one of them said, "Well sex should be after marriage because it's also for reproduction right ?" I paused and replied, "What about same-sex sexual interactions ?" I couldn't believe that she replied, "Well it's different, for gays it's kinda more for fun." Like yes, there's pleasure in sex but is that what people think !? That gays and guys have sex for fun ? Soon after, I stopped the conversation and said we can get back to it some other day because I was tired. I love my friends and they are like the best, and I don't know maybe it came out wrong or they just meant it another way...
In the end, we are humans. I feel like there's so much more than just sexual acts and the bodies we're born into. everyone is different. I know a girl who doesn't feel the need to shave her legs, and another girl who acts tough and love transformers, a guy who wears a skirt, and a guy who is scared of everything. It's so beautiful to see people breaking the stereotypes and be who they just want to be. Who they really are inside. Be yourself, because that's what shines the brightest.
Editor: A.B.
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