Coming out and being in high school helped me so much with embracing my sexuality and setting my feminine side free. I really believe in the concept of 'Gender Fluid', but I don't think I'm anywhere in the middle of the spectrum. I'm pretty comfortable with my male body, but I think I may be a future drag queen, because I do have a very strong feminine side to my personality and interests.
A little while ago, I went back into playing some of the old video games I used to play. I've always loved to play video games which I could create and customize my own characters before I came out. I always thought that I just grew out of those games, but I think it was my way of secretly expressing my feminine side as I always created my characters as females. Now I've been only playing my male characters which I was surprised to find myself enjoying. I found it interesting how these little feelings over a video game character can explain so much of what I've been through.
I think now where I'm basically out of the closet to most people; I'm finally free. I sometimes wear normal baggy jeans with a t-shirt and converse, and sometimes heels with short-shorts and make-up. I believe that fashion is much more than what we think it is, and we can express so much through fashion. To be honest, I was having some hard time before questioning if I'm gender queer, and I just don't think it matters anymore. It took me years to finally figure out that I like men and I do not want that process again.
We are raised and taught with all these labels and stereotypes, but I think we will just have to throw all those things away at some point and just live our lives the way we feel it's nature for us. I take pride of being a man and I also take pride in all sides of me; both my masculine and feminine side. And hey, I would be an awesome drag queen if I really do drag in the future. But I guess, I'm already half way there by wearing heels and make-up...
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