Reclaiming Myself: Fat

I am... Fat.

          Fat: "(of a person or an animal) having a large amount of excess flesh."

          Now that is actually one of the most hurtful yet simple word in English. Three simple letters, yet they come with a lot of meanings that are attached there by our society. First of all, "Fat" is not an emotion or a look, I don't think that we should be able to feel fat or look fat. It just doesn't make sense. I know many people that has many fat percentages in their body yet do not look like the stereotypical "fat image" we as a society have created. Feeling fat is just submitting ourselves to the societal standards of beauty.

          There is no real life version of an ideal body, just like how there is no absolute perfection. Beauty exists, but much like morality, it's subjective. We humans are born to construct our own realities, but after influenced by the media, we submit our constructions to the standards set by society.

          I'm really trying to learn to love my body, trying to reconstruct my standards and my reality to redefine what beauty means to me. I may be fat, but I don't have to feel fat. I want to feel fabulous. So I will be honest with you all, and to be honest I don't know why I tell all my secrets on my blog. I guess take it as a thank you for being interested enough to read on gift, and also because I want to love myself. I think we all need to be honest with ourselves first, before trying to love. My current weight is about 93kg which is 205 pounds. Me after my diet(which ended in September btw) was 91kg which is just a little over 200 pounds. To be honest, this isn't that hard as there are plenty more things in my life that are even more difficult to write about than my weight but It sounds scary when it's put into pounds, so I try my best to stay in the kilograms. I think we all need to remind ourselves that it's just a number, and that what's more important is our mental health, physical health, and who we are as human beings. Yes of course I understand being over weight is not the healthiest, but that's why I will try to excise more and eat healthier. I will when I have the time to slow down, and actually be healthy the right way.

          We don't have to be afraid of a number, or an image. I think we all need to know that we can be beautiful no matter what size we are. Beauty is more about what's on the inside. I know it's cheesy, but it's true. We just can't let society do this anymore, I find it disgusting that some even think that they should have a say in what's beautiful and what's not. We need to fight back, and reclaim our bodies. We own them, and we should love them. After all, we need to live with, look at, and sleep in them every day and every night.

          I must not be afraid. 

Editor K.L.S