I just did it. I came out to my dad. I know I said my mom was going to do it, but I did it. At first he did not understand at all. He was worried that I'm not going through puberty right. He started explaining the penis and stuff, and I was like, "Dad, I know I'm a male and I'm very comfortable with that." Then he started saying that I can go to the doctors to see if I don't have enough male hormones. Like no. I'm growing hair where there should be hair and my balls and penis are fine. So I sat with him and stated very clearly that it has nothing to do with my puberty and that I'm just born this way. He still thinks that it's not "normal" and he said that as a father, he would like me to grow up having a family that includes a wife. So I said, "stop. Dad, I know you don't understand right now but answer me this: when I get married, and it will be a man, will you want to come ?" And he sat straight up and said, "yes, of course, I have to be there."
That was the only thing I needed to know. I didn't need him to understand, I want him to accept the truth that his son is not weird, just different, and knowing that he still loves me and will want to be there to give his blessing is all I want. It's hard, and he definitely said some opinions that hurt my feelings, but sometimes, you just have to give people time, and maybe they will never understand, but it's family. Family is suppose to love you and accept you. My brother says that he thinks homosexuality is wrong, but he still accepts me and will protect me from haters. That is enough. Honestly, sure I want more acceptance and love, but it's difficult for them too, and I have to remember that.
I'm very grateful that I'm one of the lucky ones who at least received a decent reaction when I came out to my family. It's never ever going to be easy, and we just have to remember that it's about being brave and owning who you are and your life, and being happy. My dad said that he does not want me to tell his side of the family at all. He said that it will mostly be negative reactions and he does not want to be attacked. They will think that my dad and my mom didn't teach me right or that there's something wrong with me, and that hurts a little to think that me being who I am can actually cause not only hate towards me, but to my family as well. I'm not gonna come out to them, but I wonder if my dad feels ashamed of having a gay son... He still doesn't get why I want to "choose this lifestyle", but I love him and I hope that he will understand me someday.
I want to be happy, and I want to love and embrace who I am, and now with my mom, dad, and my brother knowing, I feel a lot more comfortable around them. Being brave isn't easy, and braveness isn't just coming out or standing up to a bully. It's also about loving yourself and accepting who you are. I think that's bravery, and I'm proud to say that I've made the right decision to say it to him myself and owning my sexual orientation. Love, xoxo.
Editor: A.B.
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