So it seems that I haven't wrote about boys in awhile huh ?
I think I never got to talk about how many things ended for me, since I had a lot of things to focus on with my blog pieces for the past few months. But the summer actually helped me got over a lot of boys. Which is good, they're all straight anyway, it's better this way. I think I'm back to that point where I'm still desperate for a relationship, but I actually want to meet someone new and who can actually be attracted to me. Don't think that's going to happen either, but still better than having crazy crushes with straight teenage boys in school.
Now let's start with Red (this is the point where if you don't know who "Red" is, you know that you clearly haven't read my blog long enough) shall we ? I saw Red once in the summer, and he has a girlfriend now. He seems to be doing well and that's great, I'm really happy for him. I'm still attracted to him, but I'm not going to like him again. I can't do this to myself, and my friends will actually kill me this time. Plus, I'm happy that Starbucks Barista boy came along in my life so I could get over Red. I never believed that using another guy to get over your crush works, but it worked for me. I didn't really try to get over Red either, it just happened after spending more time on Starbucks boy. As you all know, the Starbucks store closed and even though I have Starbucks boy's number, we don't text a lot. He seemed to be very busy and not replying to half of my texts, and I really didn't want to seem obsessive so eventually I just stopped trying. What made me really sad was that even though we didn't text a lot, our conversations were so cute and he seemed really flirty. Well I don't really know what "flirting" is really like, and he is straight (?), but I've shown all my girlfriends and they all agreed that he was being really flirty and sweet. I don't even know anymore, I assume he's just such a sweet, friendly guy that he can be sending the wrong vibes. Anyway, I haven't seen him since Starbucks closed, and I really really want to get over him. And I think I am, or at least I'm ready to be. I do miss him though...
Since the school has started, I've been really lonely. But my stressful workload in school and outside of school have been keeping me from actually liking someone. The funny thing is, since I was hanging with friends my whole summer, I thought one of my guy friends was attractive for about a week before school started and it was so weird. He just was never my type, and I was scared that I'll actually have a crush on him. (Plus, he kinda has a thing with one of my friend...) But, it was phase and now I'm all good. BUT ! I liked this other guy (who's way more attractive) in school that also isn't my type at all for about three weeks after school has started, and it's just brutal. I've just became good friends with this boy over last school year and I really don't want to ruin a friendship. I have limited guy friends, and even though I know he'll be flattered knowing that I liked him, I'll feel weird and awkward. So I've decided not to like this guy, I'm cutting off my feelings though I have to admit, it's not totally gone... (UGH !)
Like I said, I've gotten over my big crushes and I just want to meet someone new, before I start liking all my guy friends. It almost feel like being locked up in a tower for too long, now I've just lost my mind and having crushes on every human being with a penis. I will keep dreaming though, I have to. But it would be nice to really not think about boys for a little while, to know that I can be perfectly happy without longing for a man in my life. Instead of waiting for my Prince Charming, maybe I just need to climb down the tower myself.
Because right now, I'm not a Queen nor a mermaid, I'm just another lonely little Princess still waiting...
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