It is Time now, to Forgive Myself, to Forgive You, to Forgive the World...
It is Time now, to Move On.
It's not in my control if you ever forgive me for the things I've done, but I have to forgive myself. I know myself and I would never do anything to purposely hurt someone. We all have reasons behind our actions, and mine was to go into war with my mental health. The forces of my past attacked me and I had to face my long-denied mental illnesses. I didn't want to, but I had to. I was sinking with my unhappiness and I was not okay. I needed those around me to understand, but no one could. I needed those around me to know how to love and care for me, but it was too difficult. So I went into war alone, with myself. The war not only affected me, but those around me as well. I apologize, but I have to move on and forgive myself. I can't drown myself in guilt, I can't do this to myself anymore...
I forgive you, for not being able to be there. I forgive you, for not understanding. I forgive you, for not knowing how to love me. They weren't your faults, and I don't blame you for your absence, yet you could've done better, so could have I. We all have faults, and I forgive you for yours. Consciously, I will never admit it even if I do blame you. Yet I will state that I forgive you just in case I do have any grudge against you subconsciously. I'm also trying to balance out my thoughts, because as willing as I am to point out my mistakes and flaws, I feel like I should be able to understand that I'm not the only one who makes mistakes and have flaws. You may not see your faults, or be sorry at all, but I forgive you.
I try to forgive the world, as it is so cruel. Sometimes, things happen not because of me, or because of you. Sometimes the world is just not working in our favors. Sometimes, beautiful things can be ruined simply by the wrong timing. And sometimes, we could've been just not ready enough for each other's love. We're too young, too immature. Maybe, just maybe, that we will find each other's embrace again in the future. I sure do hope so... because I love you. I will always love you.
Forgiveness is not letting go, it's moving on. I will never let go, because I care and love too much, too deeply. Yet I must move on, for my own sanity and well-being.
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