Comfortability & Confidence

      I couldn't help but wonder this morning, is there a difference between being comfortable in your own skin and being confident of your body ? I asked around for a little research and what I got is all similar. Most people think that they are related but confidence is a level above being comfortable, and I agree with these people, but I don't wanna focus on the confidence part, because it's overdone and people are still not confident of themselves. I wanna look into the being comfortable part. 

      What does it even mean to be comfortable in your own skin ? Well, I define it as "feeling free and happy in your body, and being able to do and say things without doubting yourself or being afraid of what others may think". I think it's very important to be comfortable with yourself. I'm not asking everyone to be confident, but at least be comfortable. 

      Today, one of my friends told me that she thinks I'm confident. Am I ? I mean, I really do try to be confident when I wear sunglasses in the hallways, call myself queen, and wear my platform converse. I actually think that I should win an Oscar award for my acting everyday. I pretend to be confident because I was bullied, and I was the one crying and hating on myself. I tell myself that I can not be the loser anymore. I want people to think that no matter what they say, I will not be affected by them. It can be quite scary to put on a mask everyday, and it can also be great because after awhile, you start to believe that your acting is real. I know that I'm not confident at all the second I strip away my clothes and my make-up. Those are the moments in life when you really see yourself. Without the fashionable clothes and the sparkly lip gloss, all you have is what you're born with. In those moments, you know if you're comfortable with your body or not. To be honest with you all, it scares me to look at myself and see all the flaws and imperfections. It makes us understand that no matter how hard we try, we will always be the loser, because after all this time, we have been fighting the wrong enemy. The only enemy we have to really face is ourselves.

      I just want you all to ask yourselves, are you comfortable in your own body ? If not, then I want you to understand something. Beauty is a standard that people create to make themselves feel better, but doing that, they bring other people down. So make your own standard. The sizes on your clothes and your shoes are just numbers, they may measure your body, but they can never measure the love and care you receive from others. If you were even gonna change something about yourself, do it for you, not for others. It's okay to take time to learn how to love yourself. It is completely fine. Just look at me typing this piece up and still trying to be comfortable in my own skin. 

Editor: A.B.